Friday, March 28, 2008

I like food.

I like food. Plain and simple. I like food. And not in the way that normal people like food. I like food in a way that is entirely immersive. I enjoy food with all five senses. I enjoy the way it's presented, the way it smells, the way it sounds as you chew on it, the way it feels, and especially the way it tastes as each particle of food is caressed on each taste bud. I even enjoy events where food is the main event. For instance, tonight, my wife and I are going to a dinner theatre at the local high school. The school is nationally recognized for it's cullinary program and they're supposed to have some gourmet-y food there tonight. Then tomorrow, we're going to a Japanese steakhouse with some students from Japan. So I implore you, gentle reader, do not simply devour your food. Enjoy it.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I'll see you in Hell

Yes folks, the pope, in his infinite wisdom, has deemed it worthy to spend his time devising a list of yet more sins. From the people that brought you the 10 commandments of good driving, it's the new and revised 7 new sins! Trying to lose weight? Why not participate in creating poverty? In just two months, you too, can be watching the pounds melt away in Dante's ninth circle. Join now and we'll throw in a free one hour session of one-on-one personal training with the dark prince himself. In case you're wondering, the 7 new sins are:

1. "Bioethical" violations such as birth control

2. "Morally dubious'' experiments such as stem cell research

3. Drug abuse

4. Polluting the environment

5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor

6. Excessive wealth

7. Creating poverty

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Happy National Grammar Day!

As I am sure that you are all aware, today is National Grammar Day so go out and have a grammarific day!